Bibendum, the famous old Michelin building in London’s South Kensington looked as beautiful as ever on this warm part-cloudy summer’s day. Upstairs is my favourite London restaurant of the moment, the two Michelin starred Claude Bosi at Bibendum while down at ground level is a tiled oyster bar and restaurant, partly open to the street.  Also on the ground is a florist stall which adds a lovely aroma to the place, and at the back is a Conran shop, as the building is owned by designer Sir Terrance Conran.  I’d never eaten at Bibendum Oyster Bar before (though many years ago I met Sir Richard Branson there over Champagne and canapés, at a Virgin promotion).

I’d needed a 3pm lunch reservation to follow an appointment at The Royal Marsden Hospital which is just five minutes walk along Fulham Road, and Bibendum Oyster Bar was the only quality restaurant close by where the kitchen remained open at that time.  We arrived when most of the front of house staff appeared to have gone to lunch and we had to stand waiting a few minutes for the one staff member working front of house to seat us at a window seat.  Tables are also available further inside the building.

I came with an appetite because I’d had to fast before my hospital visit, so I ordered a dozen Carlingford oysters for us to share for starters from an oyster menu of about eight varieties and origins – all of them Rocks because it was July (ie no ‘R’).  They came on the traditional stand, on crushed ice, with lemon wedges and diced shallot in red wine vinegar.  We had a glass each of Champagne Charles Heidsieck to wash the bivalves down.  I was somewhat disappointed with the oysters because they weren’t as plump as I’d hoped for and didn’t seem to sing with the fresh saltiness of Carlingford Loch in Ireland which I’m accustomed to.  Even the vinegar tasted diluted, which made me wonder if my tastebuds had gone to sleep. 6/10.

Service speeded up with the return from lunch of two more staff, but I was astonished that our main courses were served to us before we’d finished the oysters and Champagne!  And then when we did finish the starter we had to wave our hands in the air to attract a waiter’s attention ad ask for the oyster plates to be taken away.

Both of us chose to have Steak Tartare, frites and salad for our main course, with a carafe of Saint-Emilion to share. The green leaves were clean and fresh and were dressed in a vinaigrette which had a subtle coconut flavour. The beef was good and tender (I asked the chef and he used rump) and it had a raw egg yolk on top as well as the usual garnishes inside, but I found it to be under-seasoned.  The fries were very thin and quite limp – not the best.  7/10. If, like me, you fancy raw meat after visiting hospital there are much better versions nearby at Le Colombier and at Tom’s Kitchen.

By this stage I wasn’t satiated, so I asked to see the dessert menu. Initially I favoured a chocolate tart but when the waiter told me it would take 15 minutes to make I decided just to have a selection of cheeses instead.  Neither the menu nor the waiter explained what was in the selection served, so I was left to guess at a goat, a sheep and three cows cheeses, from where they came is anybody’s guess.  But I found it to be a nicely balanced selection and the portion sizes were very good. Cheese was served with Carr’s water biscuits and (the highlight for me) a lovely onion and raisin chutney, of which, sadly, there wasn’t enough. 8/10

My total bill for food, 2 glass of Champagne, the carafe of wine, plus a generous glass of port for the cheese, coffees and service was £162.55.  Not too bad, but the overall experience of food and service wasn’t up to the standard I had expected, so I score Bibendum Oyster Bar just 6.5/10

It was only on our way home that we noticed they’d undercharged us for the oysters, billing us just £3.25 instead of 12 x 3.25