In September 2019 I looked for somewhere to stay for just one night, in Bray, for after a planned boozy lunch at The Hind’s Head with my family.  Monkey Island Estate came onto my radar.  I’d first read about Monkey Island’s reopening in travel media earlier in the year; I thought it looked nice, but I didn’t have any immediate plans to visit. So I read a bit more about Monkey Island Estate; that it’s owned by YTL, a small Malaysian chain of hotels, and that it’s part of the ‘Small Luxury Hotels’ marketing group.  It all looked like the sort of hotel I like; only 40 rooms, historic buildings (Grade 1 listed), comfortable rooms, and a beautiful location right on the River Thames.   I booked a Temple Terrace Room directly through the hotel’s website for £575 B&B.

I became very irritated using the maps and directions through Apple CarPlay!  When we got close to Bray we were directed to turn away and join the M4 motorway. We were then advised to prepare to park on the M4 and go to our destination on foot!!  When we finally reached Monkey Island we were late for our lunch booking, but I discovered that The Hind’s Head was too far for me to walk to, so the hotel called us a cab which took 20 minutes or so to arrive. Then the 5 minute journey cost me over £8. I wasn’t in a happy state!

After lunch my sister drove us back to Monkey Island. The first thing to note is that ‘reception’ is in a wooden building by the car park on the ‘mainland’, away from the hotel proper.  There a young man checked us in and walked us across the bridge over the Thames and onto monkey island.  To our left was the event/banquet pavilion which also includes the bar and restaurant, where a wedding was taking place. And to our right was the other renovated listed building, ‘the Temple’, where most of the guest rooms are located.

Our room turned out to be much smaller than I was expecting, but we were won over by its balcony bordered by willows in full leaf, overlooking the calm flow of the Thames, from where we could wave at passing boats.

This really was a perfect spot to rest on a beautifully warm and sunny afternoon, though we did go outside to explore the small island.

On our exploration we discovered the hotel’s spa, which is in a converted barge/narrowboat. A cool idea, but we didn’t have time to try the treatments.   The (mostly) lawned grounds of monkey island are attractive and peaceful and we found some ducks and geese eating windfall apples at one point.  But. with wedding photos being taken, we didn’t get to explore all of the 7 acres, and went back to our room.

To the right, after entering the room was the ensuite ‘bathroom’ housing a toilet, one wash basin and a walk-in shower. The small room was nice and bright, there were Aromatherapy Associates toiletries and the shower was a good size, at around 1m x 2m.  But the toilet bowl was on the small side and its seat was uncomfortable.

Our room had an espresso pod machine, a complimentary soft drink minibar, a wall mounted TV with terrestrial Freeview channels, wifi and a blue tooth speaker. Everything was clean and new looking, including the carpet.  But the bed was small!   It’s described on their website as “queen size”, which is a vague term. All I can say is that it’s too narrow for a couple, and the mattress springs didn’t hold me, but pushed me towards the side.  I had the very worst sleep I’ve ever had in an hotel!  (At the time I weighed just 72kg with a lower than average BMI)

In the morning we went down to breakfast and noticed, on the way, a small lounge on the ground floor of the Temple building, which would be full if 2 couples met there for a chat.  Breakfast was in the main restaurant in the other building, which had all been tidied after the wedding party. Some items like juices and cereals were laid out buffet style, but cooked options were available a la carte.  I can’t recall what my breakfast was like and I forgot to take any photos – because I was so lacking in sleep. But that’s usually a sign that I didn’t like it.

So my stay at Monkey Island Estate was a tale of two halves: the enjoyment of a pretty location on a sunny day, followed by the horror of a terrible bed and lack of sleep.  You might visit on a wet and cloudy day, so ignoring the first half I’m afraid I have to score Monkey Island just 1/10 because a hotel cannot charge someone £575 for a bad night’s sleep in a small room, and an average breakfast!