SUMMARY – A complimentary Thai massage in the spa, a private lounge just for the two of us, a fabulously wide and comfortable bed giving me 8 hours of good sleep and very good quality onboard catering, including Dom Perignon and caviar, plus excellently empathetic and professional customer service standards in the air and on the ground, this was a superb flight. 10/10

In a moment of giddy madness, after selling my business, I bought First class tickets on Thai Airways (“TG”) to bring us home after our December 2017 holiday to Nepal and Bangkok (“BKK”).  At £3500 for two pax, one way, I thought it was a competitive first class fare.  Thai only operates First class (which they call ‘Royal First’) on its fleet of A380 superjumbos, which is on just one of their two daily rotations to London Heathrow (“LHR”), plus Paris and Frankfurt.  Flight TG910 leaves BKK at fifteen minutes past midnight and arrives LHR at 06:20 later that same morning; a 12 hour flight, all in the hours of darkness during the northern winter.

After a surprisingly swift (30 minutes) transfer in a Rolls Royce from The Peninsula Bangkok, we arrived outside the First and Business check in area of BKK Suvarnabhumi airport.  I was greeted kerbside by name and told we were expected. I was really confused how the airline could have worked this out before I realised the man speaking to me was a Peninsula man, not a TG man!  When a uniformed TG lady appeared she guided us to sit at some soft leather armchairs around a low level glass table, while she disappeared with our passports and suitcases. When she reappeared she presented our boarding cards – we had been checked in – and a TG man came to guide us through a special extra-fast-track security screening. Before heading off with him I noticed our suitcases behind a screen and I asked if they would be OK. I was told they hold the suitcases there until we’ve cleared security, in case we need to access them again.

The value of this policy quickly became apparent to me, because, like an idiot, I had placed my deodorant spray can inside my carry-on bag, which is verboten.  The TG man ran back to where our suitcases were and brought them both to me, so I could put the deo in there instead, and then he ran back to get the cases into the baggage system.  I was very impressed!

After the security screening we were invited to hop onto an electric buggy which drove us just a short distance to the Thai Royal First lounge. It’s a large lounge with a tended bar, waitress service, a restaurant and also several private rooms along one side, one of which looked like it was reserved for Thai royalty or government ministers (it was filled with photos of the royal family and models of ceremonial barges and the like). We were shown to a private room which had a large TV and a computer on a desk (which we didn’t use), a sofa and a couple of armchairs and a low level table.  We felt very special having a private room, but I’ve no clue what criteria they use to decide who gets the private rooms; several passengers just used the open area of the lounge, even when private rooms were still available. Perhaps Thai keeps them for their own First pax, leaving the main lounge for other Star Alliance first pax??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We ordered drinks (we chose Champagne, but it was ‘just’ Moet NV) and a light meal (I had grilled salmon, but it was rather dry), which were served in our private room, not the main dining room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We were then summoned to the Royal Orchid Spa, just across from the lounge, for our complimentary massage. TG First pax can have a one hour full body Thai massage, Business pax can have a thirty minute foot or head massage.  The treatment rooms looked good and they all have an ensuite toilet and shower room with L’Occitaine toiletries, separated by frosted glass, which I felt didn’t actually afford enough privacy when undressed.  I’m totally ambivalent towards my personal nudity because, through my medical history, I’ve had countless medics viewing my bits, and I assume a masseuse will have seen everything in her time, so this perceived lack of privacy didn’t bother me, but it might bother others.  My Thai massage was nice and relaxing (non of the pain which can can sometimes accompany a Thai massage), but it only lasted 45 minutes (including shower time) for some reason.  I didn’t push for a reason because my therapist’s command of English wasn’t great.  Maybe they were just under pressure to deliver more treatments than usual, and all of these treatments, whether in First or Business, are on a ‘first come first served’ basis.  That’s why we checked in very early, four hours before departure. At check in they ask if you would like a treatment, so they can get you on the waiting list.  After the massage I rested in the ‘relaxation area’ with some warm ginger tea and snacks, before returning to the Royal First lounge to wait the last couple of hours before our 00:15 scheduled departure.

There was a minor delay to boarding which meant that we saw in the New Year, just the two of us, with a glass of Moet in the lounge. Fifteen minutes later we were escorted to our boarding gate, C7, on foot!  No sign of the golf buggies, but despite the challenge we made the five minute journey without collapsing through exhaustion!!  Gate C7 was packed and boarding was just being called, but we were led to the front of the queue and then the same TG lady walked us all the way to the upper deck door U1L, where we were warmly welcomed by the FAs. A left turn towards the pointy end brought me to suite 3A, with Mr A in front of me in 2A.

At first glance my seat appeared quite cluttered with all the paraphernalia needed for a night flight: the mattress (seat) cover and blanket were stowed in my footrest; menu and wine list on the table, pyjamas and slippers on the seat and a mini Rimowa case containing “comfort items” on the side table, including Clarins moisturiser and lip balm!  It strikes me as odd that a famous vendor of aluminium suitcases should market itself through a plastic pastiche of its wares. But inside the bag were some lovely things including Clarins moisturiser.  I was immediately impressed by how much space the seat/suite provided.  There are twelve seats in the cabin, in a 1-2-1 layout; in parallel with the fuselage, not at an angle.  This layout means there’s no narrowing of the bed leg space, and ones bed keeps its full width of 26.5″ along its entire (c.6’6″) length, and on the window seats there’s an extra bit of space at the side which means the bed width is exceptional. There are lots of little spaces to put belongings, plus four good-sized stowage spaces beneath the windows (A and K seats) and overhead bins for all seats.  2A and K have three large windows, 1 and 3 A/K have two windows and a space, so my favourite would be 2A/K.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My seat table was permanently deployed below the TV monitor and it slid along tracks towards me when I wanted to use it. I thought this was a great idea because it meant I could just push the table away to give myself ample space to stand up and access the aisle when needed.  Beside the TV was a magazine holder with enough space to add my own papers. Among the myriad seat function buttons at my side was one I could push to illuminate a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the outside of my suite, which is an empathetic touch.  Another thing I hadn’t come cross before was what looked like a smaller TV monitor level with my elbow. When I asked what it was for I was told it was a ‘night light’.  Interesting.

Everything was set for our long, overnight flight home, as we relaxed in our seats sipping Dom Perignon 2006.  Doors closed at 00:30, which was just fifteen minutes after boarding began, and we pushed back from the stand at 00:35.  I was pleased to hear a cabin PA instructing pax to open their window blinds for take off (a pet safety issue for me) and we were airborne at 00:55.  The aircraft operating was Airbus A380 HS-TUB and I noted that it was noisier on take-off than previous A380 flights I’d taken.  Part of this might be because TG uses Rolls Royce Trent 970 engines, against the Engine Alliance GP7200 power plants on Qatar Airways, which I’m ore familiar with. But I later learned that the flight was completely full in all cabins, and with the weight of the fuel required to get us all to London in twelve hours, the engines need more thrust on take-off, making them a little noisier.  But of course ‘noisy’ in a modern plane today, is in fact much quieter than in planes of twenty years ago.

Having eaten on the ground, it had always been my plan to try to sleep in the air, so I wasn’t interested in food, except for the caviar service TG provides in F!  Our Flight Attendants (“FA”) were ‘mature’ women and men with lots of experience, which I much prefer to young ‘dolly bird’ types of both genders, and they promptly came to take orders for post take-off drinks and food. I should note that our menu called the food a “first serving”, which I regard as much more sensible than calling it dinner (at 1am).

And so it was that I was so happy to be enjoying once again a proper caviar service on an aeroplane, sipping vintage champagne – total luxury!  Except I couldn’t actually taste anything because of the cold I had come down with in Bangkok!  The menu described it as ‘white sturgeon caviar’, the 30g jar was labelled ‘Oscietra Caviar’, but I actually thought it looked more like Sevruga because the roe was very small and black. It was accompanied by the full set of garnishes and melba toast. 10/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I then asked an FA to turn my seat into a bed while I went for a walk and got changed into the well-tailored beige pyjamas with had been handed out.  The lav to the front of the cabin was the biggest I had ever been in.  It had a toilet area plus a ‘changing’ area away from the sink (avoiding a wet floor), Payot toiletries, mirrors and lots of light.  The lav to the rear of the cabin wasn’t as big, but it was still larger than most aircraft lavs.  Two good lavs for twelve pax to share is a good ratio.  But if one still has to wait ones turn, there’s a relaxed seating area opposite the front lav. It’s a strange space which might or could be called a ‘lounge’ if they put some effort into stocking its credenza with bottles, glasses, nuts and an ice bucket.  I believe Qantas and Air France have similar underused spaces at the front of their A380s.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I managed to get a very comfortable 8 hours of sleep, thanks to a quiet cabin and the amazing width of my bed/seat, which allowed me to sleep in whichever position I desired, and when I awoke I found that the dry cabin air had dried out my head cold, I could breath through my nose and my sense of taste was working again; oh happy days!  Breakfast (or “second serving”) commenced the typical two hours before landing.  I started with a proper cappuccino 10/10, then OJ and some fresh cut fruit, which was so moist and juicy it really did taste like it was freshly sliced. 10/10 Then there was a good birchermuesli with apricot compote 10/10.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My main plate was a very pleasant omelette with bacon and tomato, accompanied by sautéed potatoes and a frankfurter type sausage, which weren’t so nice and which I didn’t eat. 7.5/10. I also had warm and flaky all butter croissants and moist Danish pastries with a fruit-packed Bonne Maman strawberry preserve.  Overall 9/10 I thought this was a very good breakfast with good quality ingredients, and everything looking and tasting like it was freshly prepared.

After breakfast I attempted to log into the onboard wi-fi, using a promo code for 20MB free usage, on a card left at my table when I was asleep. But it didn’t work because the promo code had 8 digits, but the system was looking for a 7 digit code. The senior FA, very apologetically, told me the software mix-up was because we’d just started 2018.

I didn’t attempt to use the inflight entertainment system, so I can’t pass comment on it or its contents.

After the inevitable twenty minutes flying in a holding pattern over Essex, we touched down at LHR, still in darkness, at 06:30 and slowly taxied to an air-bridge stand in the new Terminal 2.  Unfortunately, as is so often the case, Heathrow baggage handlers spoilt the morning by delivering all the First class bags after everyone else’s.  This is a Heathrow problem, not the airlines’ fault.

Overall 10/10